The Anger



Oregon Coast

 It is early Sunday morning and all is quiet. I usually can calm the storm that I feel inside toward organized religion, but today is harder for some reason. You do not know me. You do not know what road I have traveled to get where I am at. I will not allow my life to be controlled by the anger, but there are days that I can feel it just below the surface like a wave that is rolling into the shore looking beautiful and peaceful then we are caught up in it as it crashes to the shore.

I understand that the anger I carry harms only the one that harbours it. I am a very passive person and I have dealt with the anger slowly as God provides me the grace and ability to do so. I know that one day that crashing wave will become a gentle rolling surf that is almost calming in the way it caresses the shoreline. Today, however, is not that day. Today I am angry. I just needed somewhere to say it and where better than a place that very few will ever see and no one will understand because they were not on the path that brought me here.

Proverbs 25:28 says "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." (King James Version) This is not my favorite passage, but it is in my top ten. I use it often when I need to be reminded about self control, what I say and how I say it. Just to be clear, I am a Christian. I know the scriptures very well. I am not one of your radical screaming from the roof top Christians but I am a Christian none the less, far from perfect and always in need of God's grace.

I am sorry if you have stumbled across this and found yourself with more questions about my anger than your understanding of it. Today is not the day to speak of the source nor the cause, Today is simply the day that I needed to tell someone else that I am angry. I have been angry for two years and as of yet, the anger has not subsided, but I know that it will. God is faithful. I know all of the Biblical principles involved in resolving the anger in my heart; but today, today I am just angry.

So just  to be clear to the world. Your DAMN right I am angry.

GW